Serenade in the Park

This morning I woke up and I had a pretty engaging conversation with the Most High along with meditating.   Afterwards, I prepared to go for an early morning walk on the trail.  Nothing really could prepare me for a bizarre but pleasant encounter.   With so many walkers, joggers, roller bladders, bikers it is not that difficult to not notice who has their sights on you.  When I am walking, I usually am in a zone with the Ipod going strong to keep me moving to some very intense music.   Imagine after the second time around, having a guy that resembles this guy, running toward you serenading you…..singing a classic, “A Ribbon In The Sky” by Stevie Wonder.   Now, I am thinking…I don’t know this guy so this serenade is not for me, however, as I am looking around, I was the only one in the vicinity.   Him still approaching me coming from the other side of the trail…..the moment of truth…he was serenading me…..and he had this cheesy smile on his face……he extended his hand out to me and introduced himself as Lenox.  I replied, “Hello, Michelle”.

Then he said, I know….weird for somebody to be serenading someone they do not know….  I’m thinking, “Yes” but I replied, “Not really”.  Quietly to myself, thinking, as I recall this has happened to me before many years ago, in downtown Detroit, a man saw me standing downtown, he was all the way on the other side and I never saw him either until he got up close and personal and he serenaded me with the same song, “A Ribbon in the Sky” by Stevie Wonder.  As with this same situation, I never saw this guy coming.  While talking to him, I had all kinds of things going on in my head…..I am sweaty, no make-up, I have a scarf on my head, etc….and I got all this physically fit gorgeousness standing in front of me…..LAWD,  have mercy!

We continued to walk and talk and the conversation was quite enjoyable..I could tell he had a sense of humor…almost quite silly but cute…..there were a lot of chuckles shared between us, this went on for at least 30 minutes.   After that the conversation came to a close; but he left me with some parting sweet words and encouragement.   Some of what he said, “Ms. Michelle” keep up the excellent work your making a lot of progress.  He further went on to say, if you have them, start lifting weights as much as you can to work your arms…..and he gave me that buddy touch on the shoulder like he has known me for years…..Then he simply, said, “I’ll see you around” and left.  For a brief, moment I thought, “How Long has he been watching me, to know that I have been making progress?  Then I sort of just threw the rest of my thoughts away and began focusing on what this encounter meant, for this is the second guy that I have met on this trail.

Now most women would have thought, this man wants me.  Me on the other hand, I have a different response to things like this, especially since I have been on this spiritual journey and life of transformation mind, body and soul.  This encounter meant something totally different.  As always, I look at the symbolism in the moment.  I lay down all the facts such as:

A stranger but gorgeous man, a song – “A Ribbon in the Sky” a classic by Stevie Wonder, walking and talking with me, offering me encouragement with my efforts, giving me praise, etc….I didn’t stop here.  I was compelled to find the lyrics to “A Ribbon in the Sky”.   The lyrics are below:

So that you too will understand
There’s a ribbon in the sky for our love

 Do…Do…
 Do Do Do Do Do…
 HMM HMM…

This is not a coincidence
And far more than a lucky chance
But what is that was always meant
Is our ribbon in the sky for our love, love

We can’t lose with God on our side
We’ll find strength in each tear we cry
From now on it will be you and I
And our ribbon in the sky
Ribbon in the sky
A ribbon in the sky for our love.

When I read the lyrics to the song; tears began to flow down my face. When you think about this entire encounter it was every bit of lovely.  Then this made me think about;  That when a man finds a wife; that man should already be equipped to love, encourage, protect, praise, honor, respect, as God does.  Years ago, I decided that, while dating, that I would not answer the question, “What are you looking for in a relationship?”  This question gives people permission to try and deceive us.  The moment we tell them what we are looking for, they become exactly that, therefore not presenting their true selves.  If a man asked me what I was looking for in a relationship then right away, I knew perhaps he wasn’t the one; for a man with good intentions already knows how he wants and is capable of loving you;  offering you only the wonderful qualities he already owns.

Now back on subject, this encounter was God’s message to me about how the love he has ordained to be in my life will come to me; pay attention to the lyrics in the song:  “This is not a coincidence” and “Far more than a lucky chance” “But what is this was always meant”.  My heart is melting right about now….God sure does know how to douse your spirit with love.  I especially love this part of the song, “We can’t lose with God on our side”.  This one line is saying everything that needs to be said.  When God ordains a union it doesn’t matter how many people their are who don’t like it….there can’t be anything done about it, other than, watch these two people love each other.

The other message I got from this encounter is Love will recognize you in your rarest form; sweat and all.  This man was a stranger and straight-up gorgeous; but my concern shifted directly on my appearance; but he was not bothered by that he knew I had been walking and sweating, and approached me anyway.  That is how love should approach you; for who you are.  Love will look past the exterior and reach deep and look at the interior.  Yeah….!  That’s what love does; accepts you for who you are.

I want to close by offering some encouragement to my Plus Size Mavericks and Divas; I am still plus size; but for me I am a work in progress, and what I am doing for myself is not to gain the attention of a man.  The transformation that is taking place in my life is a process, and it is something that I want to do for me.   I want to also say,  beauty comes in all shapes and sizes and just because a guy is physically fit and your deemed not to be; it doesn’t mean that they will not be attracted to you. There are some lovely men out here who can look past the superficial, especially when he is met with a woman full of pleasantry.

If your single and plus size as I am, take every moment that you can, to love on you, and love will keep bumping into you until that one and only true love stops you in your tracks and says, “I have waited for you all my life, and I want to go the rest of the distance with you as my wife”.   Do what it is that you do; be a mover and a shaker, do not let your weight be an issue; just change it, if you have an issue with it yourself.  Know this, if a gorgeous man with good intentions is  approaching  you then, obviously, your weight is not keeping him from taking notice of you; so do not make it an issue. TRANSFORM, RENEW, REVAMP, REPOSITION YOURSELF  into the authentic woman you KNOW YOU already are.  I promise you, the beauty will be in the process, the progress and in the wait!  Don’t Rush it, let God do it!  If you let God do it; you will not lose.

P.S.  Don’t sit in the house because more than likely Mr. Right is not going to knock on your door.

Live Life Well and Be Blessed.  Michelle E. Alford, CHLC, CLC –http://www.livinglifewellwithmichelle.com – Radio host of the “Living Life Well With Michelle Show” on WDRJ 1440 AM – Detroit  tune in each Monday morning at 10:30 AM EST from your cars, homes, offices, androids, blackberries, computers, on anywhere you can stream live.  Call my company Me-A-Happy Lifecoaching @ 734-288-7189 for your life coaching services. My book Motivation By the Book available only on my website or my publishing site: http://www.livinglifewellpublishing.comand stay tuned for my next upcoming book “Spirituality – The link to the Love and Liberty in My Life.”

Love is Encouraging

Daily, in the early rising hours, I engage in meditation and prayer. To follow this process each week I have gone to boot camp at 6:30 am in the morning for three to four days a week. Immediately after I go to the park and walk 1.2 to 3.2 miles. This system seems to be working out for me. When I am walking the trail there is a sense of peace that walks with me. There are also many others who are walking or exercising for one purpose or another: to lose weight, keep up their health, or just to engage in the human fellowship or to awe in the beauty of God’s magnificent creations.

On the trail you can find humor from the things going on. The squirrels chasing each other taking acorns and leaves from each other, then jumping from tree-to-tree, circling the trees and peaking around as if they are trying to play hide-and-seek with you. Then there are the birds harmonizing, singing to a tune that only the angels can interpret but all can appreciate. Occasionally, when you hit certain spots along the trail the flowers releases a gentle fragrance, and the trees, wave their leafy hands to give off a cool breeze. Then there is the delightful exchange of hospitality among the people passing by. The beauty I find in this; is that each person are from many different races, creeds; or nationalities and no one seems to be bothered by our cultural differences. Instead, we are focused on the task at hand, and that is our common goal to exercise our ability to change our lives to produce a better quality of living for ourselves.

Something else magnificent that became clear to me walking the trail that is “Love is Encouraging” and it recognizes it’s image. Each day that I walk, I include some strength training and stretching for a period of time, utilizing the benches in the park to carry out some of my exercise moves. After doing this I continue walking. Last Wednesday as I was walking the trail a gentleman, looked at me and smiled and then he passed me. He manage to get in front of me and stopped at this lilac tree; I saw him breaking a bushel off; and he just stood there jogging in place; it appeared that he was waiting for me; but I couldn’t be sure and I didn’t know why he would be because I didn’t know him. To my surprise once I came face-to-face with him he said to me “Sister I see You, stay on your grind.” I replied, Thanks! I thought that was the end of the conversation; it wasn’t. He kept jogging in place and kept talking and he handed me the bushel of lilacs. He continued to talk and he further said to me, “Don’t stop what you’re doing because at the end of your journey, there is the sweet smell of success and the evidence of hard work, committment, and perseverance. He further said, “Know this…the beauty of your essence will come forth and release a beautiful fragrance and shine as the beautiful woman I already see.” I thought this to be interesting; but divine because he was a stranger to me. He didn’t give me his name and I didn’t offer mine.

After saying what he said, he just left. I walked for a bit more and then left; but my thoughts pondered over my conversation with a stranger. His conversation was so encouraging to me that I had to wonder what further message God was trying to give me from this encounter. Being a person that is really into symbolism, signs and divine messages. My first thought was to understand the message behind the flowers and the boldness behind the conversation, because it was obvious this man didn’t know me. Most women would have probably gone into that place of thinking that maybe this is the man for me. Not me. As a spiritual woman, I have learned to pay more attention to the entire situation surrounding an event. I knew that there was a deeper meaning behind this encounter. First, I checked into the ‘in your face sign’ the bushel of ‘lilac’ flowers. What I discovered was purple lilacs symbolize the first emotions of love. This was astonishing! Because for some time God has been impressing upon me to speak and write about love—in the three aspects Agape, Eros and Philos and to write blogs to empower people, which is my divine purpose as a life coach, minister of truth and light, and as a woman who believe in empowering women and just simply ‘helping all push past yield’ – H.A.P.P.Y—-The revelation I received after discovering the meaning of the flower is ‘Love Recognizes You’ and that we as individuals should know that we must first exercise loving ourselves completely mind, body and soul to properly welcome divine and genuine love into our lives.

Once we have done that, love will face us and admit that it recognizes the essence of the beauty already residing in you. Love will also admit that it wants to forge a meaningful partnership with you divinely. Sidebar for my single women: The revelation also shows that we do not have to worry about being chosen or found by the right person, because love is drawn to love and will confront you at the appointed time with the purest form that Love could offer and that is a divine love. Love is watching you. Live Life Well and Be Blessed. Michelle E. Alford, CHLC, CLC http://www.livinglifewellwithmichelle.com, http://www.facebook.com/livinglifewellwithmichelle, http://www.twitter.com/michelleealford, Me-A-Happy Life Coaching 734-288-7189.

Keeping Your Dream Alive

Keeping Your Dream Alive

Talking to a fellow author the other day prompted me to write this blog.  We were discussing some of our literary goals and as the discussion went on he said, “I don’t think that I want to be an author anymore.  I abruptly stopped him and replied, “Too late you already are”.  I could sense some despair in his voice.  It was then that I really knew that he was not joking around and he needed a friend to listen and not talk.I assured him that I was listening and encouraged him to explain to me what was bringing him too this conclusion in his life. In an indirect way he began to tell me what was wrong.  He says I am an author with a BS in liberal Arts; I have only one book to credit to my name.  I work a full-time job making $50k a year and the woman that has the affection of my heart is an educated woman, she travels a lot, and is an author with a few books behind her name and she doesn’t know that I exist.

I waited, to make sure that he was completely done with his thoughts.  Then I replied, “Let me recap your thoughts”. So what you are saying that you are a single educated man with a successful career; whom has authored a book and only seeks the affection of one woman.

To my surprised he chuckled a little. I am asked him what was funny.  He said, “Michelle, it’s just the way you summarized my thoughts; the way your words just flowed from your mouth made me sound pretty darn good.”  It actually shifted my thoughts into a better perspective as you were speaking.Although this moment seemed to shift in a positive direction; I could sense there was more.

So once again I stopped speaking and began to listen.  There was a brief moment of silence then the conversation continued.He further explained that he was getting a lot of smack from family and friends about him not releasing some books that he had announced that he was going to release at a certain time and hadn’t.  Apparently they questioned his ambition to become a Best-selling author.  He said that he had been hearing rumors that friends were saying that he probably didn’t have a new book coming out and he was just trying to be more than he really was.  Not to mention that he had shared some thoughts about him wanting to get romantically involved with an author that has a few books under her belt. It is rumored that she will not date an author that is not rocking the best-selling or the national best-selling title.

On top of that I heard some of my family members were saying I can’t write and I am not a real author because I self-published my first book. Because only real authors get published with traditional publishing companies and make mad paper.He said, Shell all this feedback from people who suppose to have my back has being weighing heavy on me and I can’t seem to get the motivation to write.I see a lot of authors consistently updating their status with what they are doing and it makes me feel inadequate. It also sort of bothers me.  I think it is a very risky practice. I think sharing your every move as oppose to sharing highlights gets you stalkers you are not aware that you have.

As I listened, I began to realize that it wasn’t by chance that he was talking to me about what he was going through. I was supposed to help him through this hurdle.  Simply, because I too was experiencing backlash from family and friends for my ambitions to someday become a National Best-selling author.

I let him complete his thoughts, waiting for the cue to jump in expound on what he had just shared with me.That cue came and I began to speak, okay my fellow author I’m about to share some things with you that I really haven’t shared with anyone else.  First, I would like to recap the last few moments of our conversation.Let me start with matters of the heart.  So, This author that you want to be romantically linked to is she a best-selling author? He replied, no.  I further, questioned him, have you spoken with her directly about getting to know her better on a friendship level? And did you witness her stating that she only wants to be involved with a best-selling author or did you receive second-hand information?I replied, Wait! Don’t answer any one of these questions until I’m done giving you the rest.In your family has anyone written a book?  Has anyone published a book? Any of them work as an editor or proofreaders?

How many of your family members actually bought your book? Is any of your family or friends holding down a full-time job while exploring the opportunity to embark on another career?As I came up for breathe, I told my fellow author; I have a theory. If you answer yes to anyone of my questions then I would have to re-think my theory. If you answer no to every one of these questions then my theory is you are being consumed with ‘mental distractions’.

You are slowly being sapped of your heart’s desire and the people that are closes too you are being used to do it.  You are no longer in rhythm with who you are.Then I frankly asked, “What are the answers to all the questions I asked you?” and he simply replied, no.

I figured as much.  Now that we have the answers to these questions let me briefly share with you.  I had set to release a few books that I had already written or that was near completion.  I delayed publishing them for a number of reasons.

Not that I have to explain it too anyone but I had gotten sick and was experiencing so much unexplained pain to the point that it pained me to even type. Then I found that it was contributed to fibromyalgia.  On top of that, I was promised a 7 seven state tour if I went ahead and published my book using the representation of a certain company but the terms just didn’t feel right and my gut told me to walk away. So I did. I called a few places of my own and managed to get in with some of the same areas to complete that tour when I am ready.

I sought out the advice from people that well established in the literary world. I thought they might not give me the time of day because I have not made a huge mark in the literary world.  To my surprise it was the total opposite experience.  I was embraced as if I had written my own best-sellers.  I shared with them some of the distractions and circumstances that I was experiencing. I was given some priceless advice by some well established authors who are best-sellers and national best-sellers.  I learned that one of my favorite authors James Patterson didn’t become acclaimed until after he had written his fourth book.

Further, I was advised not to be pressured in releasing books prematurely because people will wait to pay for a well constructed good read and they will appreciate the author for producing such a ‘must read’ and spread the word, thus propelling you to the best-selling or national-best selling status.

After receiving this advice it brought back my momentum and caused me to make some other adjustments in my life.  This is one of the reasons why I have been advocating to people about being aware of the company that they keep.  Ridding one’s self of negative connections and adjusting one’s thoughts about the things that people are saying negatively about you.  Even if you are doing well people are going to try and dismantle your dreams in becoming a best-selling author.

The one thing that must happen is that you must believe in yourself and that you can achieve your goals.Which brings me back to the law of momentum in physics it is said that a body in motion tends to remain in motion until an outside force acts upon it; distractions.

Your friends or family members may try and discourage you for pursuing other ambition by encouraging you to follow a more “sensible” path. This kind of false support is a distraction in itself and causes you to stop pursing, and working toward your highest ambition.

These sort of distractions and “sensible” decisions competes for your attention thus, making your dream gradually become a figment of the past.You begin to speak making hopeless statements “Someday I will pick it up again.” But that’s a weak excuse for avoiding the risk of living your dream. The time is now! When you have a worthy goal—something that is worth going after, you have to apply the law of critical success to your life. This law says that you should always be doing something that moves you closer to your goal. Question: What are you doing today that is drawing you a little bit nearer to accomplishing your dream?From now on, why not put the law of momentum into action? It is said that motion creates emotion.

When you take action toward that which you most desire, your self-confidence will soar. Distractions shift you off-course or slow you down; actions accelerate you forward along your chosen course. Every action strengthens you to take another. You will become unstoppable! You will liberate yourself from guilt and self-pity. You will become the envy of the world. Many people never commit to anything. They have interests and hobbies, but no passion or driving ambition. I believe that you are one of those people who can commit; otherwise you wouldn’t listening a word that I have to say.Life is like an engine you can’t get the car to vroom until you put the key in the ignition and put the pedal to the metal. The moment you put your foot on the brakes you will start losing momentum and when you shift the gears into park then you are no longer moving.

Here is what you can do to remain motivated about the dreams you wish to pursue: First, identify your distractions and move away from them. By doing so, you will become effective rather than merely efficient. Being effective means doing the right things, while being efficient means doing things right. It’s nice to be efficient, but it doesn’t do you any good if you’re not doing the things that will move you toward your dream.

Second, write the word MOMENTUM in big bold letters–hang it somewhere that you will see it often. Do something daily that will keep the pursuit of your goals fresh and active.

Third, make a public commitment by asking your friends—those who are positive and encouraging—to hold you accountable. Talk about your dreams only with those who share a genuine support to your pursuing all the things that you wish to do. Have a positive perspective and speak of your dreams as if you are already doing them, and not just something that you are thinking about doing.

Finally, learn all you can about the lore of your passion. Become more knowledgeable than the average person about the subject of your dreams.  I am.So, dear friend, live your finest ambition. Do it because you must. Even if you don’t get all the support in the beginning life has a way of showing you how people only want to support when you are already living your dream.  Work hard at it. Do more than is expected, more than is common.

Don’t let those around you sap you of your motivation.  Keep Your Dream Alive. Keep the momentums going! Oh, and as for the girl I can’t see a sane woman not wanting a man that clearly has his stuff together, passing him up because he is not a best-seller.  It could be just rumored speculation from so called friends who envy the possibilities of you being with someone they may not have a chance with.  Ever!

Author Michelle E. Alford